as she enters the gates it was cold,
a sudden rush of hatred passed by her,
she feels alone, someone small and inconvenient,
you would have thought the first day of secondary school
would be exciting, a time of new adventures, a new horizon,
not for her, she feels like a shadow
only visible when it is suitable for them.
she sits quietly and gets on with her work,
taking time and effort on every little sentence,
then she starts to hear their voices,
quiet voices, sniggering , laughing voices
she tries to block them out, but then comes the taxing,
the name calling,
her mind faintly drifts into her emotions,
she cries a river, her hands cradle her, no way out, no where to go,
if only the earth could swallow her up then she would have wished for it.
the bells ring and suddenly she belongs to them,
their possession, their belonging, their little toy,
inside sheís screaming leave me alone!!!!
but no one can hear her think, only her friend,
her guardian angel, but not even she can help.
next lesson she cannot sit alone,
no freedom, some friends they are, no one cares,
they take her work and tell her to wait, push, shove, and irritate,
she tells them to leave her be, they mock her and say...
THEYíRE ONLY JOKING, joking, joking is funny but this is no laugh,
but maybe to them it is.
every day she awakes with a tear sliding down her face,
she shivers and weeps, praying for a day of peace,
as she looks into her cereal bowl drowning all her sorrows,
her tummy turns as she opens the door,
one more step and a burst of emotions drip from her eyes,
no one can see her pain,
she is twirling her hair and her heart beat increases,
and again through the gates of morning,
every day is the same, all trouble, all pain,
just one moment she says
I'd love to be stranded in a desert island and never be found,
to jump off a cliff and never return,
never hear their back-stabbing words or sounds,
she tries to fit in, no one can believe they mocked her,
that her life was falling apart,
they mocked her image, her family and her friends,
whilst they tore out her heart,
no one can be sure what happened to her
or how unhappy she was inside,
no one can be sure where she went, or who took her pride.
just one day she gave up and disappeared,
in to their lies she drowned, and into their web she spun,
no one can hurt her any more or treat her like a clown,
they wondered what they did, was it them that really won,
she ran away from the wars deep within her head,
always paranoid, always scared of what they all said,
sheís losing herself in their game, always way behind,
please donít you run away, donít be afraid, donít even hide,
donít let them win or hurt you inside
or stab you in the back with a knife,
stand up for yourself, donít disappear,
I didnít and you see how it ended clearly
you can see for yourself,
donít lose your mind, or your life in the darkness that they spread,
stand up tall, grit your teeth,
donít keep it locked up in your head...